Warning to all ye who enter, thar be non-stop pirate gags ahead.
You can walk the plank—but can you talk the talk? International Talk Like a Pirate Day, falling annually on Sept. 19, is among the silliest - and fun - internet-based holidays out there, where you can really nurture your inner Captain Morgan.
And now until 10 p.m. Wednesday, you can feed your inner Homer Simpson, by getting thyself to your nearest Krispy Kreme donut shop, and clearing your throat.
Huffington Post reports:
Krispy Kreme is celebrating by giving away a free glazed doughnut if you talk like a pirate or wear an eye patch. If you dress up in full pirate regalia, you get a whole dozen. Let's go over what you need to do:
1) Get over your potential embarrassment at speaking or acting ridiculous because hey, free doughnuts are not a daily occurrence
2) Find an eye patch, hoop earrings, striped bandana, parrot for your shoulder
3) Practice your speech
4) Go to Krispy Kreme
6) Receive free doughnut(s)
7) Receive applause
8) Eat your feelings
Krispy Kreme would like everyone to know that there are no weapons allowed in the stores. Find a store here.
(And a Patch Bonus Prize at the end of our tale: brought back by popular demand from last year, our easy instruction for how to make your own hat for all the party-hopping you may do to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day.)
"Holiday" creators John Baur and Mark Summers were playing racquetball one day in 1995, and their groans and cheers during the game quickly turned into pirate slang. After many jokes, the idea for International Talk Like a Pirate Day was born. They pitched their idea to Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Dave Barry, who eventually featured it in one of his pieces, and the rest is history.
John and Mark’s pirate translator offers everything from "ahoy" to "thar she blows!"
And now the piratorial headgear, using the all-important paper grocery bag to make a child-sized hat. If ye be seekin' a hat for a larger pirate, use a newspaper with the same steps provided.
What You'll Need:
Grocery bag (child hat) or newspaper (adult hat)
Cut open the bag so that you are left with a large front panel.
Carefully remove the handles.
Fold the panel in half along the width of the paper.
Fold the two corners to the center. Because your started with a rectanglular panel, the folded corners should leave you with some excess space at the bottom.
Fold the bottom excess up and over the corners as shown.
Repeat Step 5 for the reverse side of the hat.
Use your marker or other embellishments to decorate the face of your pirate hat. Start with skull and cross bone and see what else you can add.
Put on your pirate hat and say "ARRRGH!"
Fun Tip: Use these steps to make pirate hats of all different colors and sizes for International Talk Like a Pirate Day or any other pirate-themed events.
If you be celebratin', let us know how in our Comments below.
--Ivy Jacobson contributed to this piece.